You can’t handle this.
Written and performed by Five Iron Frenzy.
Making young girls pine
I don’t have the time
Babies get in line
I’ve got a protractor
Got a stapler now
it goes “Ka-ching”
gotta have the math club crown me king
gotta rock the screen with the cosine graphing
on my calculator
If you’re up
and if you want
a piece of me
wave goodbye and blow a kiss
‘Cause you can’t handle this
[Chorus:]
No, No, No
you can’t handle this.
Through my glasses glare
you’ll see savoir faire
beneath my icy stare
I’ve got a retainer
Maybe I’m the physics main event
maybe I’m the chem club president
maybe even Texas Instruments
thinks that I’m coplanar
If you’re up
and if you want
a piece of me
wave goodbye and blow a kiss
‘Cause you can’t handle this
And Leonard Nemoy
can’t stand up to this
And Captain James T. Kirk
bows beneath my fists
And I am awesome
awesome
I am the awesomest!
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